Dear Abby: I can’t stop having sex dreams about my ex-husband

Dear Abby counsels a woman trying to leave her relationship with her ex-husband.

Dear ABBY: How do I get over my ex-husband? He wanted a divorce. They told me, they didn’t ask me! It’s been 10 years, but I still dream about it. I haven’t been with him or any other man since. My disordered sleep is driving me crazy. I’ve tried therapy, sleep aids (OTC meds, sleep apps) but I still dream about it – good dreams and bad. I’m not sure how much more I can take. How do I keep my ex out of my dreams? – Haunted in ALASKA

Haunted Beloved: I’ve found that the more we try to censor our dreams, the more frequent they become, especially if the last thing you think about before you go to sleep is, “Don’t think about the rat that left me in such a strange way!” What might help your sleep quality would be to find another therapist and talk, talk, talk until you finally admit that your ex is historical. You can finally start dreaming about your future instead of your past.

Dear ABBY: I’m an outgoing person with a lot of friends, but I’m starting to get “ghosted” after setting up or facilitating an introduction between male and female friends. This has happened more than once when I am very good friends with the boy. I introduce him to a friend or colleague and encourage their relationship, only for him to tell me he’s not comfortable with him being my friend, gets jealous, etc.

Abby, I am happily married. I’m not interested in these men and I’m very upset about the loss of a friend (or worse, he only wants to meet in secret). In most of these cases, I was friendly with my husband’s ex and we all did things together without a problem. It’s making me not want to have male friends and be wary of female friends. Tips? – Match in INDIANA

Dear Ndesha: Talk about ingratitude. It seems that no good deed goes unpunished. It also seems like you’re swimming in a pond full of insecure friends and colleagues. The lesson here is: Don’t fix these women. Stay out of the line of fire and let them find their dates from now on.

Dear ABBY: I am a disabled married woman. I dress myself, wash my clothes, clean myself, make my own breakfast and lunch and cook dinner for my family. I do rehab at home. My husband is supposed to stretch my legs twice a day to keep them loose, but he refuses to do it twice a day. He will only do it once if I remind him. He won’t make our bed or help us clean the kitchen after I cook. Am I wrong in thinking there is something wrong with this photo? – DO MY PART IN TEXAS

DEAR DONE: You are entitled to your feelings. It is sad that your husband is no longer willing to help, and you are right to ask him why he is not. Because he refuses to help with your rehab more than once a day, if possible, make other arrangements for him. Perhaps another relative or friend can help. Your doctor may also be able to help you find someone.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.